Over 14 years ago there a group of women who gathered together to work on shidduchim for their children. We thought we would each speak about our children and trade resumes. That never happened. Someone took a sefer off the shelf, we started reading the Rebbes' letters on shidduchim. After each letter, there was a discussion.The letters were very soft spoken. None of them seemed to demand big actions but we found small actions were needed. We created an experimental "to do list". We started "doing"and we started to see engagements. We went though all the Chabad books in English. We got teachers to translate other seferim. We went though all the frum books. Each one added to our body of information. From there we started pooling our money and flying in Teachers, advisors. When our community was bringing in a speaker for the community, we would get a private audience with the Rabbi/Rebbitson. Each Teacher gave over excellent information but some of the teachers ...
LETS SAY YOUR NOT GETTING SUGGESTIONS RIGHT NOW AND YOU WANT TO CHANGE THAT CHOOSE SOMETHING ON THE LIST, WAIT A DAY OR TWO , CHOOSE ANOTHER. ANYTHING YOU DO AS A GROUP IS 10X MORE POWERFUL THEN DOING IT BY YOURSELF. 1. READ AND STUDY LETTERS FROM ETERNAL JOY. ALIGN YOURSELF WITH THE REBBES WISDOM. 2. GIVE CHARITY TO A NEEDY KALLAH OR TO A FUND THAT HELPS KALLAHS. 3. HELP A KALLAH WITH SOMETHING FOR HER CHASUNAH. 4. ADD TEHILLIM. 5. ADD SOMEONE ELSES CHILD KAPITAL TEHILLIM. 6. ADD A LEARNING SEDER 7. ADD A DAVENING. 8. IF YOU ALREADY DAVEN 3 TIMES A DAY, AND ALREADY DO CHITAS, ADD SOMETHING ELSE. 9. GET A BRACHA FROM SOMEONE WHO CARES ABOUT YOU. 10. HAVE A FARBRENGEN, GIVE EVERYONE BROCHOS. 11. SEND THE RESUME TO A SHADCHAN THAT DOESN'T HAVE IT YET. 12. MAKE PHONE CALLS FOR SOMEONE ELSES CHILD. 13. WRITE DOWN 3 THINGS EVERY DAY THAT YOU ARE GRATEFUL FOR UNTIL THE VORT. 14. CALL PEOPLE FROM THE GROUP AND ASK ...
My brother died suddenly at the age of 22. The first year of my married life I was in denial of my brothers death. My husband wanted me to see a therapist. I didn't agree, a therapist couldn't bring him back to life then nothing could be done. My husband convinced to go to see a grief therapist. I was right she couldn't make him alive again but she led me though the stages of grief. I got on with my life . So, just like I didn't see that their could be help. I think many people are in a place where they could use help and don't know it. That is why I am writing to you. I'm working in shidduchim for 14 years. I see the same shidduchim blockages over and over again. I listed many and asked our mutual friend, if any could be a possibility and it seemed like divorce could be something. She told me a close relatives of yours are divorced. These situations keeps the single "floating". They date, they get close to getting engaged, t...
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