Chicago Shidduch Blog

A TIME LINE IN  CHICAGO SHIDDUCH GROUP. Two years ago Chai Ellul, our group had a fabrengen with an inspirational speaker. One of the stories she told at the fabrengen was about a girl who had become frum a few years ago and was dating a bochur from a family that was frum for many generations.I don't remember how they met or if it was a traditional "shidduch set up". The bottom line of the story was that the two of them wanted to become engaged and the decision was up to the zeidie. While this girl was waiting for the decision, she went to her mashpia and had a two people fabrengen. They spoke, danced and sang niggunim  for 2 hours until the phone rang with the answer that the zeidie said "yes". Now , move ahead a few days and its Rosh Hashana, davening is over and group member are greeting each other.  Before we knew we had decided a Rosh Hashana Fabrengen was what we wanted. So, we each knocks on a few doors that rainy afternoon and a few people gath

 My  brother died suddenly at the age of 22. The first year of my married life I was in  denial of my brothers death. My husband wanted me to see a therapist. I didn't agree, a therapist couldn't bring  him back to life then nothing could be done.  My husband convinced  to go to see a grief therapist. I was right she couldn't make him alive again but she led me though the stages of grief.  I got on with my life . So, just like I didn't see that their could be help. I think many people are in a place where they could use help and don't know it. That is why I am writing to you. I'm working in shidduchim for 14 years. I see the same shidduchim blockages over and over again.  I listed many and asked our mutual friend, if any could be a possibility and it seemed like divorce could be something. She told me a close relatives of yours are divorced. These situations keeps the single "floating". They date, they get close to getting engaged, then call i

1. Make a Shidduchim Keli     First half of the keli...help a needy kallah with money or effort.(email for list of effort jobs)     Second half of the keli....take on something difficult (ruchnius) until you get to the chupa. 2. Open channels of bracha      a. Gratitute,,write down 3 things a day you are grateful for.      b. Forgiveness....make up with your relatives and friends.      c. Use the power of words to hasten the bracha....( for more info, email)      d. Use the power of thought, keep the positive thoughts, pick apart the negative thoughts      e. Ahavas Yisroel, help another with shidduchim      f. Get a brachos from friends and relatives. 3.Make a Brochos party(email for instructions) 4.Get a shidduch coach or a shidduch mashpia. Rivkah Leah Bernath   773.759.0908 Like us on facebook:   www.facebook.com/ chicagoshidduch follow us on twitter:   www.twitter.com/ chicagoshidduch

1)The Gemara in Shabbat (31a), according to which one of the questions that one is asked after his time on this earth is up and he is facing the Heavenly judgment is “ עסקת בפריה ורביה ” — “did you engage in procreation?” TheMaharsha comments: The Gemara did not say [that one is asked] “did you fulfill [the mitzvah] of procreation,” but rather “did you engage [in the mitzvah of procreation],” meaning, “[did you take steps] to marry off orphans.” Maharsha, Chidushei Aggadot to Shabbat 31a,  לא אמר קיימת פריה ורביה אלא עסקת דהיינו להשיא יתום ויתומה . מהרש"א חידושי אגדות לשבת דף ל"א. בד"ה עסקת The Maharsha clearly understands that being engaged in the mitzvah of procreation means more than fulfilling that mitzvah by having children oneself; it includes doing what one can to facilitate the fulfillment of that mitzvah by others, by people who are less fortunate and who may never have the opportunity to get married and perform this mitzvah without the efforts of

DON'T UNDERESTIMATE THE BRACHA FROM ANOTHER JEW Gemara Megillah 15a: אמר ר' חנינא לעולם אל תהי ברכת הדיוט קלה בעיניך

Home   »   Family   »   Marriage 7 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married An infographic on how to know you’re ready to tie the knot. by  Rabbi Dov Heller, M.A.          

After working with singles of all kinds for 9 years, I have collected data from 100's of peoples shidduch stories. The common thread of those who were successful ...........seemed to be the building of a"keli" led by the Rebbes letters. Continually giving to various kallah funds , checking tefillim, increasing in learning . NOTES FROM FROM LETTERS WRITTEN BY THE LUBAVITCH REBBE 1. " IN ORDER TO HASTEN THE BLESSING, YOU SHOULD GIVE SEVERAL FRANCS EVERY WEEKDAY FOR POOR BRIDES" 2."IMPROVING ONE'S SPIRITUAL STATE IS OF CRUCIAL AND FUNDAMENTAL IMPORTANCE" 3. " IT IS LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND SOMETHING IN THIS WORLD THAT IS ENTIRELY PERFECT" 4. " YOU ARE TO INTENSIFY YOUR PERFORMANCE OF TORAH AND MITZVOT AND JUDGE THE SUGGESTIONS IN ACCORDANCE WITH THEIR DEGREE OF RELIGIOSITY"  5."YOUR CHASSAN WILL ESTABLISH FIXED TIMES FOR THE STUDY OF TORAH" 6. "ONE SHOULD NOT BE MISERLY WITH REGARD

1. READ AND STUDY LETTERS FROM ETERNAL JOY.  2. GIVE CHARITY TO A NEEDY KALLAH OR TO A FUND THAT HELPS KALLAHS. 3. HELP A KALLAH WITH SOMETHING FOR HER CHASUNAH. 4. ADD TEHILLIM. 6. ADD A LEARNING SEDER 7. ADD A DAVENING. 8. IF YOU ALREADY DAVEN 3 TIMES A DAY, AND ALREADY DO CHITAS, ADD SOMETHING ELSE. 9. GET A BRACHA FROM SOMEONE WHO CARES ABOUT YOU. 10. HAVE A FARBRENGEN, GIVE EVERYONE BROCHOS. 11. SEND THE RESUME TO  A SHADCHAN THAT DOESN'T HAVE IT YET. 13. WRITE DOWN 3 THINGS EVERY DAY THAT YOU ARE GRATEFUL FOR UNTIL THE VORT. 14. CALL PEOPLE FROM THE GROUP AND ASK FOR SUGGESTIONS. 15. CALL A  SHIDDUCH COACH. 16. GO OVER YOUR LIST WITH YOUR MASHPIA.  18. WORK ON LETTING GO OF GRUDGES, FORGIVENESS. 19. MAKE UP WITH PEOPLE THAT YOU ARE ANGRY WITH. 20. GO TO YOUR RELATIVES GRAVES. 23. BUY SOMETHING FOR THE VORT/L'CHAIM/BRIDAL SHOWER. 24. START MAKING THE GUEST LIST, GET ADDRESSES. 25. START PREPARING THE HOUSE AS IF GUESTS ARE COM

This morning another 28 year old girl emailed me. She asked me to help her network. Just give me a name! get me names! I just need a name!!!! Statistics say, That a person can get along with(even marry)One out of 16 people. So at 28,  I have to figure she has dated 16,32 or even 64 different people  in the last eight years, So is it really just give me a name or there other things that she could be doing? We have all heard of or done some segula's or built a "keli"(vessel for the bracha). What is this? Does it work? Why have I done some and it hasn't worked yet? Sick of another suggestion of doing something more? I want to start with what this isn't. This isn't ,I will do something extra for H-shem and he will send me my bashert.  So, what is this? Yiddishkeit has been described as a ladder ,with infinite rungs going up. These extra spiritual mitzvahs take you up a rung. This opens your perspective. From higher up ,you can see things differe

By Rivkah Leah Bernath Chicago,IL Many years ago ,in my old neighborhood, a woman in her mid 40's would constantly bring up this topic. Her topic was , how much insurance she had on her husbands life. She would count on fingers when speaking about this, " I have a 30,000 on one policy, 10,000 on a second policy, there is a benefit from his work providing me with $ per etc ,month if he died.  I knew them, they had a good marriage. I'm not implying she wanted him dead. But he did die suddenly that year.  At another time, we had some friends that were putting on a room addition. They rented an apt during the construction. Every so often we would meet them at the house to see the progress. Sometime during the tour, the husband would say" after this is addition is done, I'm going to lose my job" and "I'm going to lose this house". We begged to stop verbalizing this. He didn't stop.  He had a job earning in the 6 figures, he h

Hi ,  Anyone who wants to see all the profiles that have gone out. Go to  http://groups.google.com/group /chicagoshidduchgroup Click on the link, then click join, then I will click accept. Somewhere in this you will asked if you want to receive profiles. You can choose a. no, thank you b. yes , daily c. yes, in a composite email Go though the emails, choose the ones that you want the real resume for. each profile has a Number/ Send me the # or #'s you want. email me at  chicagoshidduch@gmail.com If you want to see the real resume, send me the # of the profile